ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
