I wanna bring you to show and tell
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
