So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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