FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
