problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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