the condom got lost in my hair
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
