I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
