She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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