im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You can't just leave with hair like that
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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