Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
