the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
