2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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