No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
