Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
