perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize