are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
