i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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