you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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