2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
i think i just lost a toe
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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