If i come over, it means nothing
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize