im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
