Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
