I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
