either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
