You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
nutella sex= disaster
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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