I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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