I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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