It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wish I only lived at night.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My dick has a subreddit
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
