He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
