david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
