Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
