if only i could text you this smell
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
