I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
