enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just got carded by a ten year old.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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