Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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