just tell him i said nine months
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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