were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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