On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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