Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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