"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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