Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
