She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
