Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize