do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
