She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
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I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
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Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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