Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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