she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My bed smells like the plague
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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