he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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