your room smells of hookers.
And success
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
