Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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