The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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