moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
