remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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