small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
