my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize