i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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