At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm bleeding and have questions
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
