What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
