I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
