Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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