She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
